Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I Don't Think I'm The Marrying Type

People always ask me why I'm not married yet. I get the, "you seem like a nice have your life together, etc" speech. I just nod and and tell them I haven't met the right person, and leave it at that.

But I honestly don't know if I have the temperament. It would really take the right, patient person. I've been so used to making decisions on my own for so long. To actually have to stop and confer/defer/discuss with someone? That's just so far from my nature.

This whole thought process was triggered by a conversation I had with one of the members of my bowling team. I don't live in their house, so I can't say for sure, but it seems like she can't jump unless her hubby tells her how high. 2 weeks ago, when we really did need everyone to be there bowling, her husband got called out on a work assignment. She did not show up either. OK, your husband had to work, YOU didn't. I fail to understand why you couldn't come, when you dang near live around the corner from the bowling alley, anyway? Tonight is our awards ceremony, and then we're going to do a no-tap tournament afterwards. I emailed her and told her that tonight is the night to pick up the money. She called me and started telling me about how her husband's work schedule has been really unpredictable, so she just doesn't know...etc. The whole time I'm, if somebody told me I could come and pick up some MONEY, I'd be right there to get it, with or without my husband! Hell, I'd pick up HIS money too! In the years I've known her, it's always been like this. I can see deferring to your hubby on major decisions, but EVERY. LITTLE. THING???

I've had claims where the wife is injured, and I call to check status with her and ask her how SHE'S doing, and she just hands the phone to her husband. Um, you're the one with the broke wrist, not him! Why do I need to talk to him? I just can't see me being this person in a relationship. But I have run into some guys who have expected this.

I know that not all marriages are like this. I guess I'm just trying to work through the thought process on this. My brother and sisters have certainly provided some good examples of marriage. They are definitely not perfect, and have their ups and downs, but they keep striving to work together. I guess that's the part I just need to look forward to.


KD said...

Wow it's kinda funny that you blogged about this today. I've been in an 8 hour email conversation about marriage today. I understand your view point... The lady from your league has some other stuff going on... Cause when $$ is involved I don't care if he was working in Haiti for 2 weeks!! But on the flip side I was just saying how I wish I had someone to split the kids Dr appts with. Taking time off for every little thing is taxing on the PTO. Would be nice to have a hubby to help out with that. And sometimes I don't want to be the decision maker/ go-to person for everything. Then other times I wanna do what I wanna do, when I wanna do it! Okay I'm rambling... Enough!

Marilie said...

Not Haiti! LOL!!!

I feel you. It WOULD be nice to have someone to share responsibility with. I mean, if I lose my job, it's just me. It's all on me. It'd be nice to have someone to reassure me that it would be ok, and help me work out a game plan when I need the support.

But then, I couldn't tell him to "pound sand" the rest of the time. Hence, my thoughts on the subject. LOL!

Au Naptural said...

"It would really take the right, patient person."

Agreed! I've come to realize that I'm a handful and require someone with seemingly endless amounts of patience. Lately, it feels like all of my friends are getting married. I look at their (public portions they display of) their relationships and I'm in awe. Do I have what it takes to be someone's wife? I can barely handle being a girlfriend right now. LOL!

Whatever the case, I hope it works out for all of us. Married or not, I just want to be happy.

Tazzee said...

You're just not the type to marry those type of men. I know exactly how you feel and I felt that way for a while. I got to the point where I'd changed all I wanted to change about myself and was content with me, just the way I am. I have quite a few quirks about me and I felt I would never meet a man that could deal with them. Then I met him. Hmm, I feel another post about my guy coming on ;-)

Anyway - I think there is a man that will be patient with you, one that is perfect for you. And when you meet him you won't want to tell him to pound sand the rest of the time.

Marilie said...

@ Au Naptural - exactly, I just want to be happy! We'll see what the future holds.

@ Tazzee - we'll see what the future holds! :)