Monday, July 25, 2011

Confession

"Confession of errors is like a broom which sweeps away the dirt and leaves the surface brighter and clearer. I feel stronger for confession." - Mohandas Gandhi

I've downloaded two books for my Kindle app on the iPad recently - "The Five Love Languages," by Gary Chapman and then "The Five Love Languages for Singles," also by Gary Chapman. They've been sitting there, looking at me like, "read us! Read us!" Although he says that singles can benefit from the original book, I decided to download the one for singles after
Serenity 23 mentioned it.

I started reading it last night and read some more this morning. There is a section about forgiveness. It's honestly nothing that I haven't heard before. Sometimes it's just the wording of things that can affect you. Like this sentence:

"Forgiveness is a response to confession."

Remember how when we were little, our parents would tell us, "if you just admit that you did wrong, it would be better for you." We'd continue to say that we didn't break the dish/kick the cat/scratch the furniture...all the while they KNEW we did it, and so the punishment definitely fit the crime. Would it have been less severe if we had said we did it? Possibly. We still would have gotten in trouble, but at least we told the truth, our parents would forgive us, and we'd move on.

How is it that we forget this as adults? Stuff would be so much easier if we could just admit when we mess up. I read that sentence and immediately was taken back to the end of the relationship with my ex. I can vividly recall apologizing for MY reaction to things...but he never once confessed to doing anything wrong. Even though we both know he did. Would that have saved the relationship? Hell no. But it would have made for a better transition. Had he just said, "yes, this is what happened," it would have been much easier for me to forgive him. Especially since I kept catching him in lies (did he forget that I'm a trained investigator? LOL)!

I mean, ultimately I am responsible for me. I know this. I'm responsible for how I react to things and the emotions I decide to hold on to or let go of. But that sentence really summed up WHY I had such a hard time with the end of that relationship.

Don't forget that your confession - no matter how much it feels like torture - can be healing for the other party involved. Maybe that could be your last selfless act before you part ways.

3 comments:

affectionforfitness said...

I have the opposite problem. I apologize for anything, even if it isn't really my fault. I try to fix it even if I didn't cause it. <<It's probably a lack of assertiveness issue of some sort--not my best trait.

:-) Marion

Marilie said...

Or maybe you just care more about others' feelings...somewhere in there is a happy medium. But at least you know you would apologize if you really did do something wrong. :) Some people just don't know how to apologize at all.

Adrienne said...

Don't forget that your confession - no matter how much it feels like torture - can be healing for the other party involved. Maybe that could be your last selfless act before you part ways. <-----------TRUTH!!!