Monday, May 9, 2011

Show Me Love

I was just reading on another blog, and the commenter said, "we all do not show love in the same way." Hmmmm. Yes, I guess this is true. Countless things can affect the way you show your love and affection for one another. Your background, when/where/how you grew up, and the people that you've met in this lifetime.

Me personally? I'm a "hugger." If I can give and receive a hug, that's the best. Some of the best moments with LDR are when he just hugs me and holds me. We don't talk or anything. We just hold on to each other. Or my sister...the one who retired from the military. She squeezes the LIVING BREATH out of me every time she hugs me. Like, I probably need a CT scan for cracked ribs, but I wouldn't have it any other way! In my family, we don't get off the phone with each other without saying "I love you." I know some people just aren't that vocal. I'm actually trying to think back to how many times my ex actually said that he loved me, and it wasn't in an email.. :::crickets chirping:::

Annnnnnywho (lol), I think part of showing people love is knowing what they like and HOW they like to be shown love/appreciated. Which I guess really only works if they reciprocate. For instance, I have a friend who just does not like to hug people. It's just not her thing. We would be at get togethers and people would try to hug her and then they'd remember, oh yeah, Y doesn't hug folks. I haven't seen her in quite a few months, but the last time I did she actually hugged me! I was like, "huh?" and it must have shown on my face, because she said, "I'm trying to do better with this." But I think she was ok with hugging me because I never tried to force her to hug me. Once she told me she didn't "do" hugging (lol), then I respected that. Others would be like, "well girl you need to get over that, I'ma hug you anyway." That's not the way to approach that. Not if you want those same people to respect how YOU feel!

I think that people just want you to KNOW them. Know what's important to them and then act accordingly. People get tired of giving and getting nothing in return. So maybe what they're expecting is not what YOU would do. So what! If you LOVE them, then sometimes you suck it up and you give them what THEY need. Especially if they'd do the same for you.

As Tamar Braxton would say, "point blank period." :)


Beautifully Complex said...

Have you read the "Five Love Languages" book ? It was life changing for me LOL. I wish more people would understand, the way that you show love to another person has to be how THEY receive love. I am a hugger, a card giver, verbally expressive & other's may not be, but if you want me to FEEL loved, you need to show me in a way I understand.

Marilie said...

I haven't read you got me about to download another book. LOL! But I totally agree...sometimes people need to push past what they see as the norm. If you want a successful relationship, anyway. :)