Men crack me up

I say this to myself on a daily basis. And I have various characters in my life, who live up to this on a daily basis.

The particular man who inspired this post is New York Undercover. We haven't talked about him yet. He's another skater. He's from NYC...and like may of the skaters from NYC, he is very disenchanted with the skating scene down here. I can't really blame him. Truly, if you really want to get down, your best bet is Atlanta. But who wants to drive 3.5 hrs every weekend to skate?

Anywho, he has been missing in action since some time in February. RB said he heard that NYU had gotten married. I just didn't believe that, because he seemed like the person that, come hell or high water, he'd be at the rink. He and RB have some kind of (likely imaginary) rivalry going on when it comes to the rink. RB thinks that every time he takes the time to skate with someone, NYU has to make it a priority to start skating with that person as well.

This seemed to be the case where I was concerned. Mind you, when I got to that rink in January, that was the least friendly rink I'd ever been at. How does a single woman - who doesn't look half bad - come into the rink alone, and nobody asks her to skate??? That is just so not the case in Atlanta. I was really confused. RB was the first to break the ice. Then came NYU.

NYU skates NY style (of course). He is determined that I am going to skate NY style. I'm really not interested in it. It's very similar to Chicago style, with a lot of bouncing and spinning and flying around the rink. I like to be cute...I'm not trying to look like I"m in Olympic speed skating.

When he first approached me, I tried some of his moves, but at that time I really needed new, harder wheels. It was hard for me to turn as easily as he could. Next thing you know, RB decides to get me some Bones (those are a type of wheel) and some new bearings. I had actually been researching wheels and had been [ ] <-- this close to buying some, when he showed up with these. How about 2-3 weeks later, NYU shows up at the Skate-a-Thon and says, "I got some Bones wheels for a good deal, and I was gonna see if you wanted them." It's raining wheels from heaven! Of course I declined, because I already had some new wheels. But that was one of those "things that make ya go hmmm" moments.

Slow songs at the rink were a real challenge when NYU was there. As you all already know, if I have to choose, I'm gonna choose to skate with KC. **insert goofy smile here** I would literally find myself hiding from RB & NYU...it was madness. How does one hide in a rink? I mean I would have to pretend not to hear my name being called. Once I was skating towards KC and NYU came swooping across the damn floor...what the heezy? It was a mess.

Anyway...so we noticed that NYU has been MIA for a while. Last night he came back. I almost didn't recognize him. He had been MIA because he had brain surgery. **insert cricket sound here** Um, why are you at the skating rink when you just had brain surgery 5 months ago?? I asked him if he should be there, i.e., did he have doctor's approval. He said that the doctor told him it was ok. I gave him "The Rock eyebrow," but he assured me it was ok. He told me that he intended to get at least one skate in with me, and I told him that would be fine. I figured he would take it easy, which would be better for me. He has a habit of making sudden turns and cuts, that just don't go with my skating style. We'll be gliding backwards just fine, next thing you know we're cutting an 80 degree turn. Um, no! He did end up telling me last night, that he does this to get away from the crowds, because he likes to skate in open spaces. OK. Just don't kill me, please.

At one point he got in a collision with someone and he fell, but he didn't hit his head. He tried to get up and was feeling dizzy and had to sit back down. They stopped the music and everything. Again - why are you here??? I saw him sitting down and I went over to check on him. He grabbed my hand and told me for the umpteenth time how soft they were. I told him that I use shea butter mixed with coconut oil on my skin. He said that must be what he smelled, and that I smelled really good. OK...do you smell everyone you skate with? When he grabbed my right hand, he saw that I had a ring on my fourth finger. Then he went to look at the left and saw there was no ring.

He said, "what's up with that? What are these dudes doing wrong? You seem like you are a very nice young lady." Did I mention that he's probably like late 40s? I just told him that I really didn't know. Men crack me up when they wanna ask why you're single. I mean, if we knew the answer to that, do you think we'd be single??? He was acting like he was about to ask for my number. I was working through my "thanks but no thanks" speech in my head, and wishing the Sandman would come and dance me off stage left. Thankfully, another NYC skater came up to complain about the DJ and confirm that she had the right number for him, and I was able to escape! LOL

Like I said - men crack me up!