Life

My mom generally doesn't call me during the week, unless something is wrong, or she has a question. She works two jobs, so her free time is limited. So when my phone rang on Tuesday, I got that "uh oh" feeling. It's weird, but whenever she is calling me to tell me that something is wrong, I just know. I can feel it.

My grandma had a stroke on Monday. She had a minor one before, years ago. It affected her left side. At first, my mom and my aunts and uncle didn't even think she had had the stroke. But then, you could look at her face and see that the left side was drooping a bit. This latest stroke affected her right side. My uncle had gone up to the nursing home to see her (and to get on the staff to make sure they were doing what they needed to do). She wasn't in her room. She likes to take walks around, so that wasn't completely unusual. When he went to find her, she was stopped in a corner, and he could tell immediately that something was wrong.

Grandma has dementia...she only recognizes my mom, my aunt and my uncle. She has a little doll that she takes care of, that is her "baby." We just go with it. It truly is like she is a child all over again. But you know what? She is 98, and anybody who stays on this earth this long, can do whatever she wants to do. :) My mom has said that she's doing well now, although she's still not using her right hand. My mom will have to do her physical therapy with her, because she won't go with the therapist unless my mom, my uncle or my aunt are there. They can't be there during the day, and the therapist does not have a night shift.

I worry about my mom, working all these hours, and then being up at the nursing home. She's lucky if she can eek 4 hours of sleep out of a day. But then again, if she didn't have all these "things" to do, I think she would be totally bored. I'm guessing that now she's going to put off her back surgery, which was supposed to be done in August.

I was thinking last night...my mom and my grandma have always been in my life. I don't know how I will adjust once they are gone. I think I will be at peace as far as my grandma is concerned. She lived a full life, and the dementia only started in the last 10 years. I certainly don't want her to suffer. With my mom, I just don't know how I will be. I don't even want to think about it. I've only lost one close relative, and that was my Aunt Lennie, who passed away in 2001. She was my mom's younger sister. Actually, she was the youngest out of the 6 of them. She had esophageal cancer. She had a course of chemo and radiation, and surgery was done. They thought they got the cancer. But 6 months later, it was back with a vengeance. She went in the hospital the day after Thanksgiving, and passed away 5 days before Christmas. That was a bad holiday season...I have never seen my mom so emotionally torn up in all my life. I've only seen my mom cry 3 times that I can remember, and that time was the worst.

I really love my family. I'm glad that we really are able to enjoy each other's company. I don't think I've ever had a true argument with my brothers and sisters. I am so thankful for that. I definitely appreciate every moment we have together. When the bad times come along, you really appreciate the good times that much more.